Well i know i'm from South Jersey, and proud of it. So i though i share with
you, some of my fav's. I highlighted the ones that go for me.
You
Know You're From South Jersey When...
You don't "go to the beach",
you go "down the shore".
In your mind you hear "watch out for the tram
car please" even in your sleep.
You've had arguments over cheesesteak
quality.
When it snows more than an inch, you call it a
blizzard.
You know someone named Siprasiut Xayapachan.
You've
actually found the Echelon Mall.
Your uncle is in the mafia.
You
or your friends have Lyme Disease.
You don't understand why there aren't
more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.
You know what a Wawa is,
and know the location of at least 15 of them.
You know what became of the
13th Leeds child, and claim to have seen him one time while peeing in the
woods.
One time you were driving in the woods and got stuck in
sand.
You have an EZ Pass, but you just hold it up.
Even though
there's a new Wal-Mart in your town, you still go to the Berlin Farmers Market
for cheap stuff.
Your neighborhood demonstrates co-existence of
African-Americans and racist rednecks.
You know that you should get the
hell out of Camden before dark.
Your car is covered with yellow-green
dust in April ann May.
You buy Shop-Rite brand food at
Shop-Rite.
Honesty, sincerity, and courtesy are things you once saw
happen in Ohio.
You know how to successfully handle a traffic
circle.
You think the Olive Garden is a bunch of crap and should not open
restaurants in South Jersey.
You worked at a blueberry farm when you were
13.
You played soccer from Kindergarten through high
school.
You've counted the number of dirty old men bars on the Black
Horse Pike.
You always went to the Franklin Institute when you were a
kid.
Your middle school hangout was the mall.
You have an
unusable, piece-of-crap boat in your front yard.
You once skipped school
and went to Wildwood.
You're Italian.
You know where to get the
best bagel.
You've called someone an "butthead" to their face at the
Philly airport.
You say "water" weird.
Even your school made good
Italian subs, but you call them hoagies.
You've almost fallen asleep on
the Expressway.
You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires,
but have never seen a tornado, earthquake or volcano.
You can't believe
MTV went to Seaside Heights.
You know that ACME is an actual store, not
just a Warner Bros. creation.
You never had school on Rosh Hashanah or
Yom Kippur.
You take day trips to New York City.
The mafia runs
half the businesses in your town.
You have mandatory recycling. Enforced
by law.
In the woods behind your house, you can find couches, washing
machines, and shoes.
You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh
seafood.
You go to at least one parade at the boardwalk each
year.
You've made a meal out of Tastycakes, Herr's BBQ potato chips, and
Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer.
You know the Atlantic City High School
marching band can lay down some phat beats.
You know New Years is all
about the Mummers and the Polar Bear club.
You smoke Parliament
Lights.
You go to the local Fire Department barbeque in June.
Down
the road, in the middle of nowhere, is an Egyptian restaurant and a custard
stand with a minature golf course.
You know what custard is in South
Jersey.
You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic
scoring!)
In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.
Route 206
doesn't freak you out at night.
One time, a sea gull pooped all over your
head.
You once said, "It smells like Philadelphia in here."
You
know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different".
Your
mom still loves Bruce Springsteen.
You know it can be -10 degrees and 70
degrees in January in the same year.
There's a fruit and vegetable stand
down the road.
You will always say "YO", and you'll say it
often.
You scoff at tourists in Philadelphia.
Your town has an
online commmunity.
At least one person brings Big Fizz to a
party.
You go to another state and sit at a gas station wondering when
the people will come out to pump your gas.
You have your own bucket for
carmel corn refills.
You know that no matter how much they put into the
Camden waterfront Camden is still Camden.
You have to mail your relocated
friends tastykakes.
You think North Jersey is a different state and South
Jersey deserves its own secession.
Your high school prom was at the
Camden Aquarium or The Mansion in Voorhees.
You have season passes to
Great Adventure.
You refuse to call Hoagies "subs."
You know where
Olga's Diner is on rt 70.
You are tired of people not believing you're
from jersey because you don't have a New York accent.
You drive by a farm
every time you get in the car.
You know what "jimmies" are and refuse to
call them anything else.
Eastern Regional High School has a rip list
every year!
Your neighbor is either a painter, a plumber, a builder, or
an electrician with a work truck in the driveway.
You have crossed all 5
bridges into Philly at one point in your life.
You take day trips to
philly to walk on South Street.
You have had a near or close call
experiences hitting a deer with your car.
You run around in the nearest
patch of woods and play paint ball with your buddies.
You've considered
renaming "the Garden State" to "the Hoagie State"
You have a story about
the "Hell Hole" ride in Wildwood.
You remember the ducks in the middle of
Cherry Hill Mall.
You call the Berlin Farmer's Market the Berlin Auction
or the Auction.
You took your report card to Clementon Park for free
tickets.
You've had some of the best parties in a field.
Other
people dont know what funnel cake and water ice is because everyone else calls
it fried dough and slush.
You went "diner hopping" till the sun came
up.
You don't acknoledge that it is tomorrow until either you go to sleep
or the sun comes up.
You know where to buy a katana for less than
$50.
You go on dates to diners and arcades.
You have empty Wawa
half gallon iced tea bottles all over your car and room.
You've ever
driven around aimlessly for hours with your friends saying "So, whatta we
doin?"
You've ever said the phrase "look at fricken MacGyver over
here!"
You know the difference betwine the train and the
speedline.
The term "I think of you as a brother" turns into a whole
family tree.
You ever drove all the way to the shore just to walk around
for 5 minutes then drive back.
Your memories of places all consist of
what you did there once when you were messed up.
You ever went over
someone's house to hang out with their mom.
You have a knife collection,
a PS2, a cell phone, a pager, and a computer but you can't afford to get your
car fixed.
One of your hangouts is a parking lot.
You say "'lanic
city", instead of Atlantic City.
You can't get that sand out of your toes
no matter how long it's been there.
You haven't been able to find a
decent stromboli since moving out of South Jersey.
You've seen a shack
with a satellite dish.
You know that a Jug Handle is both a feature of
the highway and a bar that looks like someone's house in Maple Shade.
You
know of at least 3 bars where you know they won't card you.
You lived
near a "crick" not a creek.
You don't recognize any one at your family
reunion.
You say "gimme" instead of give me, or "com' mer" instead of
come here.
You know a Chrissy and we all know she's gotten
around!
You think we should sell north "Joisey" to New York for
$24.
Everyone eventually starred at the Latin Casino.
You never
could figure out which was the Black Horse Pike or The White Horse
Pike.
You're a female and have beaten the crap out of at least one guy
who wasn't your brother.
You ever taken your parents car while they were
asleep or away, before you were old enough to drive.
You ever cut your
foot on a broken bottle in a local stream.
You have gotten bad poison ivy
from hiding in a bush to make weird noises at the people passing
by.
There is a dead body somewhere in or near the stream by your
house.
You have to drive at least 30-60 minutes to get to work in order
to make more than $10 an hour.
You know what "pulling a camper" means and
do it publicly when it is necessary.
You know that a "Yield" sign is
merely a suggestion.
You've considered going to your high school late at
night to check for ghosts in the halls rumoured haunted.
You think pit
bulls are harmless.
You don't think you have an accent.
Half your
high school went to Camden County College.
You know what the song
"V-town" is about.
Your front yard is made out of
stones.
Everything is "twenty minutes away". If you ask how long it takes
to get any place in South Jersey, the person always says, "about twenty
minutes". To get to a mall, "Oh, about 20 minutes". To get to the airport, "Mmm,
about 20 minutes." To get from Williamstown to Philly, "Only about 20 minutes".
Try it. Only the shore areas take more than "twenty minutes". They're usually
"an hour and twenty minutes."
Thrift shopping with friends is an
event.
You've intentionally stood in front of the tram car, and you're
upset that it no longer stutters.
You remember the old Morey's Pier
before the fire.
Your parents gave in and bought you a hermit crab when
you were down the shore.
You curse off three drivers in two
minutes.
You went to StoryBook Land as a kid.
You haven't moved
out of state soley for the reason you know the food is that bad everywhere
else.
WHIPOORWILL!! WHIPOORWILL!!
You know the one-day sale at JC
Penny's really lasts three.
You live in a "dry town" and every road out
of it has a liquor store at the town border.
Every time someone in
Hollywood makes fun of Jersey, you're mad and proud at the same
time.
Your big elementary school trip was to Springdale Farms.
You
know what the conductor is going to say for every stop on the PATCO
HighSpeedline.
Your neighborhood has a name that ties people together, as
in "the kids"
Your shoes have turned black from being in
Pennsauken.
You know at least 5 people who work at a prison.
You
say "porta reeko" instead of puerto rico, as it should be pronounced.
You
go to college and describe where you live in reference to how far you are from
Cherry Hill.
You come home from college for christmas break and 75f your
HS graduating class is at the same diner you are at 3am.
You aren't
scared of the speed line.
You don't even care when you leave your door
unlocked.
More than one of your friends has spent more than a week at
your house.
You've lived in a row home.
Making left turns just
doesn't feel right anymore.
You have a super secret place to sled that in
better than anywhere else in town!
You remember The Garden State Race
Track and the day it burnt to the ground and all the tons of ashes that fell for
miles.
You can spend the day at the Berlin Auction shopping at the
outside flea market.
"Jeet?" makes sense when you hear it.
The
only thing you can play on guitar is "Stairway to Heaven"
You were amazed
Moorsetown was on MTV Cribs.
A member of your family does not have all of
their teeth.
You know Voorhees used to be known as Kirkwood.
You
had a birthday party at Xhilarama.
You've been to 2 or more festivals
named after some kind of fruit (strawberry, apple, blueberry, lima
bean).
You're astounded when a friend that moves tells you theres not a
Wawa nor CVS withen a 10 mile radius of them.
Going to New York is a huge
trip but Philly is someplace to go when you're bored.
You think Amish
people are amazing.
Your whole school knows when each water ice place
opens, and the line goes on forever!
You would drop everything you were
doing and run to the voting polls right now if you heard we were voting to make
North and South Jersey separate states.
Summer is a process, not a
season.
You've ever been to Wheaton Village.
You know which places
were built on indian burial grounds.
You've slept behind a
Wawa.
You remember Caldor.
You've had a dinner with your friends
for less than $3.
You don't know that in every other state, people get
their liscenses when they're 16.
Everyone you know has had Confirmation
but never goes to church.
After seeing a movie at the Ritz, you hang out
at Tunes and then play Scrabble at Coffeeworks.
You know all of the "back
roads" to get everywhere and prefer them to the expressway.
You think a
mountain is any landform taller than your house.
You know what a
"shoe-bie" is and can pick one out at the beach.
You go to Delaware to
buy smokes.
You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.
You
can smell and know when it's low tide.
You remember the bad gypsy moth
years.
You eat at restaurants that have locations I, II, III, IV, and
V.
You know that you don't put ketchup on boardwalk fries.
You get
three 50's in a row when you play skeeball.
Donald Trump is mentioned at
least daily in your local paper.
You actually get these jokes and pass
them on to other friends from south Jersey.
bahahah, I still haven't found that mystical place, the Echelon Mall, and I've been living in south jersey for 7 years now.
ReplyDeletehahahaha I can find it if I close my eyes and drive aimlessly
ReplyDelete