This is long overdue. I am sure by now everyone has heard the horrible stories of teens committing suicide due to bullying. It’s a horrible thing to hear of one, but it’s devastating to hear of so many. Sadly this hits close to home for me. I too was bullied from 8th-12th grade. It sucked. I was bruised, beaten, and broken and no one did a thing about it. They used the excuse “boys will be boys.”
I was a pretty good kid growing up. I didn’t drink or swear and was always friendly, yet people hated me. I like to think now they hated me because I was so cool, but hey I like dancing to the beat of my own drum. One day in 9th grade I got the shit kicked out of me, and my brand new Nike’s were pissed on (see blog entitle “Shoes.”) When I got home I ran upstairs and slammed my door, and my beloved parakeet was squawking up a storm. I yelled to Blueberry to shut up. He did. My voice scared him to death literally. He fell off the perch and died. That made my day so much worse and that’s when I decided I’ve had enough.
I went downstairs got the apple peeling knife and locked myself in my bathroom. For an hour I sat there and cried and cried and cried. I’m a clean person, so when the time came I decided to cut my wrists over the sink. I hate pain. I just got the knife to my wrist and with tear soaked eyes I saw my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t do it. How could I have come so far to let another person take a hold of my life? What the hell was I thinking? I then cried and cried some more and vowed from that day on I would live my life how I wanted. It is true you can be anything, and be anybody you want to be. You can do whatever you want.
May 05, 2003 I said the F word for the first time in my life. It was graduation night and as soon as I got my diploma in hand, I turned to the asshole classmates and told them all to fuck off! I never looked back. I moved on with my life and got a good education, surrounded myself with amazing people, and now am head of the sales and marketing division at a multi-million dollar company.
A few weeks ago I stopped at Burger King for some lunch and ran into an old high school bully, whom I’ve heard still talks crap about me behind my back even though it has been 9 years since I’ve seen, talked to, or heard from him. He asked how I was. Standoffish and on guard, I said I was fine. He told me he just got promoted to shift manager at Burger King…I cracked a smile. He was so excited and wanted to become Facebook friends. I stopped smiling. I replied “No, thank you. You made my life a living hell and still talk about me. Why would I want to be friends with you?” His jaw dropped like he was shocked I knew he still spewed venom toward my name. I laughed grabbed my lunch and told him “Oh, by the way I run the sales and marketing division of a multi-million dollar company. Thanks for giving me the drive to succeed in life.” I walked out.
Learn to turn all the negative into a positive and the world will be your oyster. I pray that for all of you struggling with bullies that you take a double take in the mirror and realize how amazing you are before you decide to alter your life forever. Everyone is special and those who survive bullying always come out on top.
Remember:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
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