The Coldest Night Of The Year

It was the coldest night of the year. It was 2* outside and my friends and I decided it was the perfect night to hit the city. We all met at Dana’s apartment and got dressed and ready there. Being young of course the booze was flowing. You have to pregame the city always!!! It’s too expensive to start out sober.

The music is blasting, laughter is filling the room, and we are all catching up with each other.  Somewhere along the hour/two hours it took to get ready, we were all feeling fine…if you know what I mean. The camera was being passed around the room along with a pink wig and plenty of refills. Finally at one point we decided it was time to dance. We all grabbed our things (phones, ID, keys, money…etc.)

We were all bundled up outside, waiting for Dana’s boyfriend to lock up. In our oblivion, Dana, Ryan, Heather, and I decided it would be hilarious to skip up the street like the characters in The Wizard of Oz. Four blocks or so later, we were still skipping up the street singing “We’re Off to See the Wizard.” Maybe two blocks from the club, still skipping and singing, we hear this loud “Aaaahhhh!!!” We came to a stop a few skips later and realized Ryan was not with us. We turned around to see the rest of our group gathered around the subway entrance. My dumb ass friend, Ryan, who I love to death, skipped/fell down the stairs leading to the subway. When we looked over the edge, we was just laying on the stair platform mangled, not moving. We thought for a second he could be dead! Then as if nothing had happened he started laughing and jumped up and ran up the stairs. We asked if he was OK and he said “Yeah!” and lead us to the club.

Once in the club, the drinks were flowing again and the dancing was crazy fun. Letting loose with friends is one of my greatest joys in life. We closed the place down. We put all our stuff in a pile on the bar and helped each other put our coats on. In the 30 seconds it took for all of us to get bundled up, all of our stuff was stolen! Our phones, IPod, and even a hair clip were stolen. We all ran outside to see if we could see if anyone had our stuff on them.

It was hopeless, so we asked the bouncer if we could run back up to the floor and double check just in case we were that stupid and just dropped the pile or something. He responded by throwing me onto a steam grate and punching Heather twice in the arm. Yeah he was an uneducated meathead who will never become anything more than a bouncer.  The rest of the group went back to the apartment while Dana, Heather and I went to grab a slice of pizza.

When I was at the pizzeria, I reached for my wallet and found my phone in my pocket. Immediately, Heather called her phone and some guy answered saying: “Yes I took your phone and I’m throwing it in the middle of 5^th Ave.” Then the phone went dead. The next part gets a little hazy, but piecing it together later Heather and I have come to the conclusion that Heather got so mad that the guy took her phone that she threw mine down an alley or over a fence, either way now we both had no phones.  After a couple blocks of walking we realized that Dana was not with us. Again, in present day we came to the conclusion that Dana turned down the right street to go home and we were so into our own little world that we didn’t notice and kept strolling.

After what seemed like the longest walk we made it back to Dana’s apartment. We also realized we had not cell phone to call them and no keys to get in. It was freezing outside so we looked for our options. We didn’t know the apartment number so we rang every doorbell…until we got an answer. Dana’s next door neighbor came down and we explained that we were Dana’s friends and we had no keys and she wasn’t answering. He just had a couple drinks with us a few hours earlier. He wouldn’t let us in and went back upstairs. We tried yelling their name. We tried throwing pebbles at the window, still no answer. Finally Heather had a not-so-bright idea to climb up this machinery that was by the building used for wiring the telephone poles. A quarter ways up we realized that wasn’t going to work.

Just as we were debating which steal grate to sleep on for the night, I saw our opportunity for warmth. The basement windows!!! We rang the door bells one more time and no response so we stood in front of each window and kicked it in!!! It was 2*F outside so it was justifiable. Once the glass was clear we got into position to slide through them. HOW THE HELL DID WE NOT NOTICE THE BARS ON THE WINDOWS??? There was no way we could get through. With nothing left to lose we decided that the best thing to do was get the front atrium door open. Pissed off, tired and freezing, I wound up and put my fist right through the tiny window by the door handle. At the same time our friend Cherry opened the other door and witnessed the whole scene.

Cherry lectured us the entire way up the stairs to the apartment. We told her to shut up and we were tired. The next morning we woke up to police all around the building, going door to door questioning the tenants. Heather and I hid in the closet all day until the officers disappeared. We made our friends get us food and we snuck out once the sun set. This is the second worse thing I have ever done in my life. Wait till the next blog to hear about my only regret. Hahahaha!!!