V-I-C-T-O-R-Y THAT'S OUR WARRIORS' BATTLE CRY!!!

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y THAT’S OUR WARRIORS' BATTLE CRY!!! (Every game day you could here this up the halls.)

If you read the blogs before you will know that high school sucked!!! It sucks for everyone no matter who you are, watch Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion.  I went to a very small school. I graduated with 17 people and the entire school, Pre-K – 12^th grade, there were only 256 students enrolled. I grew up with my class and about 60% were like brothers and sisters to me the other 40% can go f*** themselves…with love.

Like I said before, starting around 8^th grade, I was beat up at very least once a week. The principal dismissed it as “boys will be boys.” Half the teacher’s knew nothing! I learned the hard way in college that all the money my parents invested in my education was a waste. The only correct things I learned were in English, Spanish, Gym, and my favorite, History.

After graduation, I was done with that school. I kept up my Christian character for 14 years, volunteered at every event held by the school, went to all the home games and had school spirit. I always make the best out of everything, and with the few friends I had, I had a blast even though it sucked. The school did absolutely nothing for me or any other student. The school itself was selfish and truly did not show the students care or love except for a few teachers.

I held so much animosity toward the school. I felt after all we put into it, we got nothing out of it. Senior year 4 of my friends were expelled a month before graduation for a fight they were involved in the previous July. We were punished for the class ahead of us and were not allowed to go somewhere cool like Florida, but we were stuck with white water rafting in West Virginia. It rained the entire time. Rain is much more enjoyable in Florida than it is in West inbred Virginia.

There were 4 teachers who were amazing! You knew that they loved you. Mrs. Clee our English teacher was our class advisor and our advocate. When we were beaten down by other teachers and students, she would march right into the situation and handle it. She would put the opposing team right in their place and in return we would do our homework.  Mr. Eller was the cool gym teacher who you could joke around with and ask him any question you wanted. He answered every question no matter how off the wall it was, even the question “Do you think Snow White was easy because she lived with 7 men?”

Then there was Sra. Seltzer our Spanish teacher. This lady had more school spirit than anyone in the joint. She danced to the beat of her own drum. She would talk to you for hours on end. She always had a kind work and always led you in the right direction. Lastly, there was Mrs. Del, my favorite teacher. Because of her I became a history buff and studied history education in college. This woman was amazing!!! She had a way of teaching that made everyone in the class understand. Nobody was ever failing her class. She pushed you with all her might and made you use what potential you had. She and I became very close of the years. She and her husband were like family to me. Sadly Mr. Del passed away not too long ago and she still took the reins and handled the situation perfectly.

It has been 9 years since I graduated and in those 9 years the hate kept building inside me. My school was also attached to my church and I love my church always will, but 2 years ago I moved to another church for my own sanity and spiritual growth.  All my cousins on my mother’s side go to the school and it hurts me to see the same injustice done to them. I love my family more than anything in the world and I finally had to remove myself from the jurisdiction for my own health.  I still visit for events and sit with my family for major holidays, again I have no problem with the church itself, but some of the people make me see red.

Well last week I went to my old church to be with my mom on her birthday and it was so nice to see all the friends and honorary family members I have there. Well at the evening service they announced they were closing Victory Christian School at the end of the year. I don’t know why, but I instantly started to cry. I was so happy that finally this may lead to some healing that so many students and alumni need, but I was so sad because my favorite teachers were now out of job in these rough economic times.

I called my old classmates and cousins to spread the news, and we all seemed to share the same opinion. We all hated Victory. It literally broke us. It was cause for celebration, but even though we all generally felt this way we still cried with each other over the phone, because we did have some really great times and we made some wonderful friends there. For being as young as we are (27) we literally spent almost half our life in those two hallways. I personally was given a special reward at graduation for being the first graduate in the (at that time) 25 year history of the school to complete Pre-K through 12^th grade. That is 14 years of good times and bad times and next year I turn 28 and that means I literally spent half my life in this school.

I am torn with sadness and joy over this matter, but the time has come. Victory has run its course and maybe it’ll get its faults in order and reopen one day, but for now let the healing begin.

RIP Victory!!!

I Fell In Love In A Hopeless Place!!!

Before you read I think you should pull up YouTube and play (in this order) Rihanna:” Hopeless Place,” Selena Gomez: “Love You Like a Love Song,” and The Carpenters: “Top of the World.”

I love your smile.

I love the way you snort when you laugh.

I love your dark brown eyes.

I love that you hold my hand everywhere we go.

I love the look you give me when I do/say something stupid.

I love that you let me kiss you anytime I want.

I love that you kiss me anytime you want.

I love that you are terrified of elevators.

I love your sense of humor.

I love how you make me laugh.

I love how you have torn down my wall.

I love how happy you make me.

I love how you make me want to be a better man.

I love the strength and courage you have given me.

I love how you pursue your dreams.

I love your politically incorrectness.

I love the way you smell…it drives me wild.

I love that you dance with me.

I love that you know the dance to Single Ladies.

I love singing in the car with you.

I love that you accept my faith at face value.

I love how excited you get when you hear “Jump In the Line.”

I love that you always greet me with a kiss.

I love walking around the city with you.

I love how you get scared so easily, yet you love horror movies.

I love that you are just as big a movie buff as I.

I love that you are not afraid of public affection.

I love your friends and sister.

I love that all my friends love you.

I love that every morning I wake up singing a cheesy Carpenters’ song because of you.

I love after we leave each other, we text each other until the other one is home safe.

I love that I can talk to you about anything.

I love that we laugh at everything.

I love the way you kiss my neck.

I love how you hold me and let me hold you whenever the other needs it.

I love how you think Bettie Page is better than Betty White.

I love that I am falling in love with you.

The Coldest Night Of The Year

It was the coldest night of the year. It was 2* outside and my friends and I decided it was the perfect night to hit the city. We all met at Dana’s apartment and got dressed and ready there. Being young of course the booze was flowing. You have to pregame the city always!!! It’s too expensive to start out sober.

The music is blasting, laughter is filling the room, and we are all catching up with each other.  Somewhere along the hour/two hours it took to get ready, we were all feeling fine…if you know what I mean. The camera was being passed around the room along with a pink wig and plenty of refills. Finally at one point we decided it was time to dance. We all grabbed our things (phones, ID, keys, money…etc.)

We were all bundled up outside, waiting for Dana’s boyfriend to lock up. In our oblivion, Dana, Ryan, Heather, and I decided it would be hilarious to skip up the street like the characters in The Wizard of Oz. Four blocks or so later, we were still skipping up the street singing “We’re Off to See the Wizard.” Maybe two blocks from the club, still skipping and singing, we hear this loud “Aaaahhhh!!!” We came to a stop a few skips later and realized Ryan was not with us. We turned around to see the rest of our group gathered around the subway entrance. My dumb ass friend, Ryan, who I love to death, skipped/fell down the stairs leading to the subway. When we looked over the edge, we was just laying on the stair platform mangled, not moving. We thought for a second he could be dead! Then as if nothing had happened he started laughing and jumped up and ran up the stairs. We asked if he was OK and he said “Yeah!” and lead us to the club.

Once in the club, the drinks were flowing again and the dancing was crazy fun. Letting loose with friends is one of my greatest joys in life. We closed the place down. We put all our stuff in a pile on the bar and helped each other put our coats on. In the 30 seconds it took for all of us to get bundled up, all of our stuff was stolen! Our phones, IPod, and even a hair clip were stolen. We all ran outside to see if we could see if anyone had our stuff on them.

It was hopeless, so we asked the bouncer if we could run back up to the floor and double check just in case we were that stupid and just dropped the pile or something. He responded by throwing me onto a steam grate and punching Heather twice in the arm. Yeah he was an uneducated meathead who will never become anything more than a bouncer.  The rest of the group went back to the apartment while Dana, Heather and I went to grab a slice of pizza.

When I was at the pizzeria, I reached for my wallet and found my phone in my pocket. Immediately, Heather called her phone and some guy answered saying: “Yes I took your phone and I’m throwing it in the middle of 5^th Ave.” Then the phone went dead. The next part gets a little hazy, but piecing it together later Heather and I have come to the conclusion that Heather got so mad that the guy took her phone that she threw mine down an alley or over a fence, either way now we both had no phones.  After a couple blocks of walking we realized that Dana was not with us. Again, in present day we came to the conclusion that Dana turned down the right street to go home and we were so into our own little world that we didn’t notice and kept strolling.

After what seemed like the longest walk we made it back to Dana’s apartment. We also realized we had not cell phone to call them and no keys to get in. It was freezing outside so we looked for our options. We didn’t know the apartment number so we rang every doorbell…until we got an answer. Dana’s next door neighbor came down and we explained that we were Dana’s friends and we had no keys and she wasn’t answering. He just had a couple drinks with us a few hours earlier. He wouldn’t let us in and went back upstairs. We tried yelling their name. We tried throwing pebbles at the window, still no answer. Finally Heather had a not-so-bright idea to climb up this machinery that was by the building used for wiring the telephone poles. A quarter ways up we realized that wasn’t going to work.

Just as we were debating which steal grate to sleep on for the night, I saw our opportunity for warmth. The basement windows!!! We rang the door bells one more time and no response so we stood in front of each window and kicked it in!!! It was 2*F outside so it was justifiable. Once the glass was clear we got into position to slide through them. HOW THE HELL DID WE NOT NOTICE THE BARS ON THE WINDOWS??? There was no way we could get through. With nothing left to lose we decided that the best thing to do was get the front atrium door open. Pissed off, tired and freezing, I wound up and put my fist right through the tiny window by the door handle. At the same time our friend Cherry opened the other door and witnessed the whole scene.

Cherry lectured us the entire way up the stairs to the apartment. We told her to shut up and we were tired. The next morning we woke up to police all around the building, going door to door questioning the tenants. Heather and I hid in the closet all day until the officers disappeared. We made our friends get us food and we snuck out once the sun set. This is the second worse thing I have ever done in my life. Wait till the next blog to hear about my only regret. Hahahaha!!!

Happy Birthday Betty!!!

Dear Betty White,

I have known about you my entire life. Everyone in my family is a huge fan!!! I remember watching Golden Girls with my Grandma every week. I have always appreciated your comic genius and I always loved your wit.  The thing I love most in life is a smile, and yours, till this day, is still electric.  I love seeing a face light up with joy and your smile is always in a happy disposition which is why we fans love you.

I must admit I did not fully appreciate your amazingness until my freshman year of college. After taking a few acting classes, I was dared to do stand-up at an open mic night in Philly. Back then Anna Nicole Smith was the “big thing,” no pun intended. I thought her story of marrying an old guy purely for his money was hilarious. So for my shtick I decided I would be the male Anna Nicole, and off the top of my head I blurted out your name. You were/are the attractive, cool older lady I knew at the time. The shtick was a big hit. I performed once a month for a little over a year with that show.

I won’t get into details with the things I would say for a laugh, but as time went on, I began to research you and your life. Details in a joke make people laugh even harder…but you know that already. After a few shows my friends started to believe that I was not joking and was actually in love with you. I laughed it off, because everyone needs some dummy friends in their life. As years past we would bring up my comedy days in conversation and then you would come right up and again they swore I was in love. I will admit I have a great adoration for you, and would love to meet one day.

As time proceeded to tick away, my friends would buy me your books, calendars, DVDs, etc… After years of entertainment, I finally admitted I do love you. You have brought me so many laughs from your TV shows and movies. You have cheered me up when I was in a bad mood. And I have grown to love and respect you as a master of your craft and as a very fine, beautiful woman.

I love you Betty. Happy 90^th Birthday!!! I wish you many more. Thank you for being a friend.

With Love,

Your #1 Fan

PS: I hope I do get to meet you one day, it would complete my life.

Paris

In the summer of 2006, my sister, my friend and I went backpacking through Europe. Paris was our third stop, between Barcelona and right before Glasgow. The day we arrived in Paris, was the day of their independence celebration. When we arrived at the hostel at 6am, we organized all our stuff and passed out on the bed till 10am. The porters at the front desk told us we should eat a big mid-day meal because there would be no time to sit and eat with all the events going on that day. They gave us directions to a bakery and a produce stand. He then gave us a detailed list of festivities to do that day…and everything was free!!!

After breaky, our first stop was The Louvre. Side Note: I have a very extensive bucket list and I was ready to check off everything in Paris. So, after we stuffed our bags for the day we were ready to hike to The Louvre. As we rounded the very first corner of out walk there it was in all its glory…the Eiffel Tower (aka #7 on the bucket list)!!! OMG! It is so much more majestic then the movies perceive it to be.  My breath was literally taken away. The 3 of us took a few minutes to take in the majesty of one of the seven world wonders. The weather was perfect, no humidity, perfectly sunny, and absolutely breathtaking.  We took some pics and headed to The Louvre.

The Louvre is also somewhere on my bucket list. I, being an Art History major, was so excited to get inside and see the many priceless works of art in encompassed. When we got to the main door, the doorman told us we should wait in the garden for about 15 minutes before we headed in. Thinking it was odd, we asked why. He told us the French President was flying over head with a small celebratory air show. We’re tourists so of course this was the best news ever!!!

The gardens at the Louvre reminded me of The Queen of Hearts’ Garden in Alice in Wonderland. The walks were so bright white and clean. All the trees and bushes were trimmed into whimsical shapes. The garden was pure magic. A few minutes passed and security guards were preparing people for the President’s fly over. Then suddenly out of nowhere, three planes were flying overhead flipping and dipping with red, white, and blue smoke decorating the sky.  An announcer came over the P.A. system and told us the President will be above us at any moment. Suddenly, the planes filled the sky with France’s national colors and as the smoke cleared the President’s plane came into view. Cheers were heard all around. Nothing compares to an American Independence Day celebration, but this was a close second. I love when patriots take pride in their homeland.

Finally, we were allowed to explore the Louvre! We saw Rembrandt, Picasso, Michelangelo, and Goya. But the main event was still waiting for me. After hours of exploring, it was time to see the 2^nd most amazing painting in all of history. (Van Gough’s Starry Night is first…on my list.) As we entered the room where this special painting was being displayed, my palms started sweating and my heart was racing, I was about to lay my very own eyes in the beautiful Mona Lisa.

It was surrounded by guards and tourists. When I finally (rudely aka Jersey style) pushed my way through the crowd I saw it. I was taken aback by its size it’s really no bigger than a legal pad, but size doesn’t matter to me. As soon as our eyes met, as manly as I am, my eyes began to well up and I literally weeped in awe of the world renowned beauty.  Immediately I finally understood Nat King Cole’s “Mona Lisa Smile.”  Words cannot not describe the feeling one gets from seeing it in person. Another check off the bucket list.

Now with all that I am finally getting to the part of the story I really wanted to write about. The following day marked day 9 of our tour and for lack of better wordage, we wanted to kill each other!!!  I awoke that morning to the girls fighting over the hair dryer. I went to the market and when I got back I threw the bottle of Midol right at them, pushed them out of the bathroom, got dressed, and declared an alone day. This was both a very good and very bad decision. It was very good, because I have this story to tell for life. It was very bad, because…I have this story to tell for life.

Side Note: My family and I are huge fans of old classic movies. Our collective favorite is The Great Race starring Jack Lemmon, Peter Faulk, Tony Curtis, and the forever young Natalie Wood.

The first stop on my trip was the Sacré-Cœur and Montmarte Steps. In The Great Race, Jack Lemmon aka Professor Fate comes flying down these stairs in a desperate attempt to win the race. Little did I know this was in a bad part of town, I held on tight to my belongings as I pushed passed the thoroughly amusing gypsies. Once I made it to the Montmarte Steps I was determined to hike up all 378 steps to the Sacré-Cœur.

At the entrance of the Sacré-Cœur I met a couple guys, who were also on an “alone day,” each were from a different group. We toured the Sacré-Cœur together and then headed to Moulin Rouge. The church, the steps, the troupe house equals three separate checks off my bucket list.

Side Note: I am Irish and German I can hold my liquor!!!

We had a couple drinks at Moulin Rouge and then I remember throwing up in the cab all over myself, throwing up outside the train station, threw up in a trash can at the ticket booth and sat down and cried because I was totally f-ed up. I had 3 drinks…I was not drunk I am pretty sure I was drugged. I remember I heard some guy yelling at a pick pocket in English. I went up to him and explained the story and asked for his help to get my ticket. He was so nice he even walked me to the platform I was supposed to be on.

The next thing I remember was some English man and woman shaking me awake. Startled, I yelled at them to get away from me. They said they were there to help, and asked me what happened. I told them I only had 3 drinks and I’m so sick and I just want to go home. They asked if I was American, I said yes and asked how they knew. They said 5 trains had passed and I was curled in a ball with a death grip on my bag and ticket. The wife went to get the nurse and the guy gave me a stick of gum and bottled water and got me seated on a chair.

When the nurse arrived, she agreed that it looked like I had been drugged. I remember she took me to her office where there was an emergency shower.  She gave me a fresh t-shirt and then rode with me all the way to my stop, and even walked me to the hostel. The front desk man was sympathetic and walked me to my room and turned down the bed. I showered and that is what I remember from that day.

Later in the trip, day 27 to be exact, I was uploading my pics to my computer and to my horror I had documentation of what I did that fateful day. I had a pic of my 3 pints so I was right, I was not drunk, but most likely drugged.  I was on stage at Moulin Rouge attempting to pole dance with the dancers. I have a pic of me wrapped around a pole with 2 topless dancers on either side of me. I have pics of me and the guys back at the Sacré-Cœur, on top of the Eiffel Tower. We were on a freaking boat ride up the river, and apparently we all were on the Louvre Ferris wheel.

Yeah I don’t remember any of it, all I remember is vomiting, and Mandi and Grace were so mad at me. A month after we returned Grace told me that she was the one who put me in the cab, I assumed it was the bartender or one of the guys. No, it was her. She said she saw me with some whore at a check cashing place and the girl was trying to get me to cash all my traveler’s checks. Thank God for Grace and His protection. It’s an embarrassing story, but seriously who else has a story like this? No one! Only me!!!